Remember me?  Thought I'd drop in for some quick blogification.  I've been in another one of those funks for a couple weeks where I barely look at my blogs, let alone anyone else's.  It's not like there's been nothing going on in my life, and not like I haven't had the time.  I've just been in one of those anti-blogging moods.  Because typing words takes more brainpower than I've felt like generating for a while, I guess.

Sunday morning the pastor called my dad to let him know that he wasn't going to be able to make it to church (he had surgery on his back years ago and every once in a while he will aggravate it somehow and spend a couple days barely able to move).  For anyone who doesn't know, my dad was the pastor for years at the church I attend, until his own health problems made it too difficult to keep up many of the duties on a regular basis, and he had to step down.  He still preaches occasionally, but that usually tends to be on Sunday nights, when my job schedule prevents me from attending.  So, while I wish it had been under different circumstances, it made my day to get to hear Dad preach the morning sermon. 

There's a lot of the content of the sermon that I don't even remember though, because one thing he said really struck me.  Something I already knew, but I guess I needed to hear it again.  I've heard Dad say many times over the years that when God gives him a message to preach, he may not know who or why, but whether it's the whole congregation or just one person, there's something that needs to be heard and someone who really needs to hear it.  This past week, for reasons that I'm not going to get into, has been a really rough one for me, and I've felt as distant from God as I have in a long time.  It's had me very discouraged, and has affected pretty much every aspect of my life over the last week or so.  Sunday morning (or afternoon, I guess, as he got a bit long-winded ), Dad spoke of God's power and His mercy.  He said that you might find yourself out of God's will, but you can't find yourself beyond His reach, and you can't wander so far that He can't bring you back.  When you think you can't be forgiven, you can, because - as he said, the four words that have reverberated in my head all day - "My God can't fail!" 

Like I said, there are things I'm not going into, but there were a lot of things that were in my head and in my heart that made me feel as if my prayers over the last several days weren't even worth being heard.  But with those four words, I felt a very heavy burden lifted from me.  Years ago I heard a missionary say that speaking to God is only half of praying.  The other half is remembering to listen for God to speak to you.  For all the words I've prayed lately that felt like they had been wasted, when I took a moment to just shut up and listen, I got the message loud and clear.

My apologies for the ambiguity.  This post was more for me than for anyone else.

Just wanted to check in for a minute and say a little bit about what's been going on with my family lately.

My stepmom's been pretty sick lately.  She's had no energy, and hasn't been able to eat hardly anything.  She's dropped quite a bit of weight, which is not good because she wasn't big to begin with.  Finally, she went to have some tests done, the results of which determined that something was haywire in her liver and pancreas.  She's had to have an ultrasound, which revealed a small tumor blocking the bile duct.  That was blocking everything up, so a temporary stint was put in to open up the bile duct till the results came back on the nature of the tumor.  Also, more tests were scheduled to find out if there was anything else going on. 

Dad called me yesterday afternoon and let me know that there is a tumor in her pancreas, and that it's cancerous.  They believe it to be malignant, but they're not certain yet.  Either way, at the very least she'll require surgery to remove that tumor.  Thankfully, Dad said the doctors informed him that the doctor who performs that particular procedure at the University of Cincinnati Hospital is considered to be the best in the country.  So that's definitely good news.

Please keep my stepmom in your thoughts and prayers, though.  And my dad, as well.  I think this is taking more of a toll on his mind than he lets on.  Though I'm very optimistic and believe that God is going to pull us through this, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.  At any rate, I'll let you all know more when I know more.